Tuesday, June 16, 2009

email from 6/16

Yea, I thought it odd that an almost 6 year old would continually say she doesn't like her mom... and that hre mom is rude and mean to her. Kids are great when they pick their own clothes.. it's one of those things that all parents see little kids in their mismatched clothes and KNOW they dressed themselves! Melissa's just so threatened by me and our relationship with Maddie that she's just impossible to deal with. But, she doesn't have a choice! I'm not going to treat this little girl any different than Sam as that's just how I'm wired. I never had a biologicial clock ticking away for me so I never did have my own. I've also NEVER been pregnant (don't know many of those) and so I honestly don't know if I even COULD get pregnant.

I too am a thinker an anaylze most things... that's the paralegal in me.. black and white ... sometimes I take things TOO literally! I believe in fairness, talking, not holding other people hostage for what other people do to you and being accountable for what I do or say to contribute to a negative situation. I haven't always been this way with Melissa but when Dan found out she was pregnant, they were already broken up, so he was pissed about it and was terrified I'd leave becuase of it. She first said she didn't want him to have anything to do with the baby and then after she was born, Dan turned into a meal ticket. Once she was born, she gave her Dan's last name, hyphenated with hers, but Dan refused to sign the birth certificate. When I saw he was pissed, that's an understatement. When we met at the end of jUne, started dating in June, he told me they had broken up and he wsn't sleeping with her still. He also had a preplanned wedding in Hawaii in November that he contemplated for months weather he should take me and tell her she's not going; but she had paid her own way and .. well, he's not good at confrontation and didn't want to upset the apple cart. Bullshit I say but I chose to stay. I kept moving the line in the sand in saying if he didn't stop seeing her, I'd stop seeing him. I wasn't until the Hawaii trip that I decided that after my company Christmas party I was done. He broke it off with her a week before and then mid December, we found out she was pregnant. We've gone through this riggim roll for 6 years now.. and I just want all the negative shit to go away. But.. it's wont.. and we'll keep dealing with her. It's good that Maddie snaps back to a good child a little while after she gets to our house. We may not have her on Father's day as we're thinking about taking the jetskis and going camping. What are you two doing this weekend... is Sam going to see her dad? Once of these trips, we'll have you and Sam join us. The good thing is that Dan's not a drinker like we (were) are. He can take it or leave it so having no booze there wouldn't be an issue.

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